Relationship success = constant communication, an abundance of appreciation, heartfelt understanding, consistent emotional and physical connection, and ongoing trust and commitment.
How do we know this combination of ingredients makes a successful relationship? Thanks to years of research and clinical practice, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman have uncovered the recipe that makes a relationship work and
what breaks relationships apart. Through their dedicated work they created the Gottman Method for couples counselling. This well-known therapy provides adaptable tools and methods to help couples create loving, long-lasting, successful relationships.
Ingredients for relationship success
The Sound Relationship House, developed under the Gottman Method, creates a full outline of building relationship success. The following is a list of the fundamental areas for couples to focus on to create a strong, emotional bond:
- Establish a strong friendship – keep getting to know your partner, support your partner, have fun together, and understand their inner world. The foundation of a healthy relationship is friendship.
- Verbalize admiration and appreciation – point out what your partner is doing right, notice them, and vocalize your appreciation. We all know that when we point out what a person is doing right, rather than focusing on what they are doing wrong, they are more likely to want to keep doing the positive.
- Turn into the relationship – lean into your partner and connect on an emotional level. Avoid shutting down, turning away, or turning towards someone else. When you turn into the relationship you create connectedness.
- Manage conflict – recognize that conflict in a relationship is inevitable. Learn how to get through conflicting situations successfully (hint, hint: therapy can help with this).
- Create life dreams, shared meaning – help your partner meet their life dreams and build a life together of shared meaning, values, and a strong belief system.
- Build trust and commitment – make trust a priority. Commit not only to your relationship and your partner’s wellbeing, but to also building and reinforcing trust on a continuous basis.
Relationships take work and commitment but can offer a life of fulfillment and connection. Become the “Masters” of your relationship rather than the “Disasters.”
If you need help getting these ingredients in place in your relationship and learning more about the Gottman Method for couples counseling, please book an appointment.