The Innate Desire for Human Connection. You will have an emotional reaction and possible anxiety response when your survival
as a human is at risk. This survival instinct can activate when you lose a connection with
someone, or you are not having your social/emotional needs met.
We are social
creatures, and we are meant to be part of a tribe. Yes, solitary can have its benefits, but
for a strong mental well-being, we thrive when we are part of a community. Therefore, it
is natural for us to grieve the loss of a relationship or a loved one. Emotional distance in
a relationship can also alert us of a potential threat to a loss of connection with
someone who we may deeply care for. Some may find they have a physiological
reaction to this loss.
Relationships with family members, romantic partners, and with colleagues can impact
our mental health. Attachment injuries can cause a person to become hyperaware to
the fact their emotional needs are not being met. Such injuries develop if you
experienced a disorganized or insecure attachment with one or more of your caregivers
when you were a child. Paying attention to symptoms of stress in your body during or
after a social interaction will provide you with important information. This information will
provide you with cues as to what might be missing during a social interaction.
Connecting to your authentic self as it signals you with emotional reactions will be the
first step to understanding your needs.
One way to gain a deep connection is to be vulnerable enough to share your emotional
pain with others. Vulnerability aids towards developing the deep connections we crave
as humans. Some people are reluctant to share information about their hardships with
others as they do not want to be a burden. Unfortunately, when we avoid sharing our
thoughts and feelings related to stressors or difficult life events, it can then lead to
emotional distance. Once you can recognize when you feel emotionally safe with
someone, confiding in them will lead to a deep emotional connection. There may be fear
holding you back from confiding with someone due to being emotionally hurt or betrayed
in the past. Deep emotional connection will also support in regulating your nervous
system and provide you with comfort as it provides you with a boost of bonding
chemicals in the brain.
This is why therapy can be beneficial towards emotional regulation and mental well-
being. It provides us with someone we can deeply connect with. Having someone who
sees us, hears us, and walks alongside us during difficult times can aid in our growth
and healing as humans.